LACK OF SENSES AND EMOTIONS IS LETHAL TO FICTION:
Sometimes beginning writers are so into writing the action that they forget that a character is much more than what he does. A character feels things, have thoughts and emotions. That’s how he connects with the reader and that’s how the reader can identify with him.
You need to explain how your character is taking anything that happens to him.
Consider:
WRONG: Caden jumped on his broom to get away from the sewer. A few minutes later, he arrived at home and fell on his bed, sighing loudly. (Action)
RIGHT: The river of detritus contorted along the burned banks like a green snake. The gurgling accompanied huge bubbles of detergent popping loudly. Damn it! Caden’s head hurt like hell from the pungent smell of rotting fish. His chest tightened at the idea of the river going on for miles. He jumped on his broom, thinking that revenge was not the answer. Science was. (Senses)
Senses and thoughts, plus emotions are what makes a story colorful and come to life.
Sometimes beginning writers are so into writing the action that they forget that a character is much more than what he does. A character feels things, have thoughts and emotions. That’s how he connects with the reader and that’s how the reader can identify with him.
You need to explain how your character is taking anything that happens to him.
Consider:
WRONG: Caden jumped on his broom to get away from the sewer. A few minutes later, he arrived at home and fell on his bed, sighing loudly. (Action)
RIGHT: The river of detritus contorted along the burned banks like a green snake. The gurgling accompanied huge bubbles of detergent popping loudly. Damn it! Caden’s head hurt like hell from the pungent smell of rotting fish. His chest tightened at the idea of the river going on for miles. He jumped on his broom, thinking that revenge was not the answer. Science was. (Senses)
Senses and thoughts, plus emotions are what makes a story colorful and come to life.